A few years ago, one of the major network news shows did a man-on-the-street segment, asking passers-by what they got for Christmas “last year.”  Ironically, very few (hardly any) could recall.  It caused me to pause and try to remember my own “Christmas past presents” — and I fell into that group of interviewees with an embarrassed and blank look on my face.   I’m certain they were useful — and most likely, my lack of memory has more to do with the “busy-ness” of life, the season and my overcrowded mind than it does with a lack of appreciation.

As the mother of an 11-year old boy, certainly I am wearied by the growing list of “wants” and/or “needs” (in his opinion), but what I really want to give him in this holiday season is an appreciation for “things that count” and “things that will last” — especially memories — for many years to come.  He looks at me with great chagrin when I mention (he sees it as “threatening”) the Dr. Bill McKibbon philosophy of “Hundred Dollar Holiday.”  (if you haven’t read it — please do.  It’s a cheap book on Amazon. Obviously, not one that is in high demand in our capitalist society) But I do think “more stuff” and spending “more money than necessary” is NOT what our focus should be during these precious holiday times.  Of course, NO ONE would argue that with me.  We all see the detriment that commercialism has caused. We all long for the “traditions” and getting back to the “true meaning of Christmas” … “The Reason for the Season “ as many church signs, bumper stickers and appliqued sweatshirts will attest.

So rather than throw the baby out with the bathwater … I’ve been giving my friend’s “3 Gift Christmas” some serious thought  and after some research, I think, “Giving Like The Magi” has some merit.

What an incredible story is told from the perspective of the “Three Kings.” 

Matthew 2 (NKJV)

 ¹ Now after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, wise men from the East came to Jerusalem, ² saying, “Where is He who has been born King of the Jews? For we have seen His star in the East and have come to worship Him.”

It doesn’t really say “to whom” they were saying “Where is He who has been born King of the Jews?”  But they must have created enough stir to get audience with King Herod and tell him about their journey.   (and just as a side-bar — I don’t think enough of us are in search of the Nativity or the King of the Jews to create that kind of stir today — but that’s another blog entry)

Here they were … far from home, (http://youtu.be/n08I6D3VR7w) … most likely worn out from this “weary and long journey.”  And yet, with diligence and enthusiasm (i.e. “JOY”) they continued their pursuit to find the “Christ-child.”  (anybody feel like say, “Hallelujah” yet?)

What I appreciate most about these fellas is their “commitment” as well as their “intrigue.”  It is one thing to “notice” something different that’s going on (a bright star in the sky) … but to be so curious as to follow it to see what it’s all about is a whole other thing.   That must have been a VERY BRIGHT STAR, huh?

¹¹ And when they had come into the house, they saw the young Child with Mary His mother, and fell down and worshiped Him. And when they had opened their treasures, they presented gifts to Him: gold, frankincense, and myrrh.

Notice something in that passage:  “they saw the young Child with Mary His mother”.  Now when the shepherds went searching for Jesus, the Bible says that they “found the Babe” lying in a manger.

Luke 2

¹⁶ And they came with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the Babe lying in a manger.

The Magi are not mentioned in Luke’s version of the Nativity story … and for the sake of the length of this post, I won’t go into the history aspect of the age of Jesus when the Magi arrived.  But suffice it to say, their journey was long and arduous … and their commitment to honor and worship Him is commendable.

So they brought to him “GIFTS” — gold, frankincense and myrrh.  

The gift of gold from the Magi was a statement of Jesus’ royal status.  It said to the Christ-child, “You will be King.”  Gold was precious and worthy across all cultures.  Were we to follow the tradition of the Magi, most of our “gift-recipients” would not wince at the gift of “gold.”   But while we know it is valuable and that it might be something worth “holding on to” as a treasure, in recent years, this would have to be questioned with all the “WE BUY GOLD” merchants popping up.  Maybe there is a more purposeful, and priceless means of “giving gold,” to a loved one.

Personally, I think giving something that someone will value and treasure, requires considering what stirs the heart and mind of that person.  Sure, there’s a certain level of maturity that is required when it comes to appreciating “the thought that counts.”  Nevertheless, (as I continue to opine) it appears to me that all people are impressed when someone truly pays attention to what “matters” to them.  I personally think such “considerations” are priceless and will not be forgotten, nor pawned or sold at the local “gold” shop.

Every year, I think about this one gift that I received about 15 years ago.  I had a holiday work party to attend … and I wanted to have a date for it.  Of and on, I had been seeing this gentleman that probably could have become very significant, if I had not been so “flighty with my affections.”  In any event, I asked him to escort me to the party and he kindly accepted.  We dressed up, went to the fancy dinner and had a most enjoyable time (probably one of the best times I’ve ever had on a “respectable” date).  He was a perfect gentleman and great company the whole evening.  About a week after the party, he came knocking on my door on a Saturday evening and said, “I wanted to bring you this … for Christmas.” I WAS NOT expecting any sort of gift from him.  But he told me that he really enjoyed our date and really “appreciated” that I thought enough of him to ask him share in that evening.  He handed me a wrapped gift and asked me to open it.

I began un-wrapping the flat, shirt-box present to find a “flannel night shirt” inside.  I was taken back, I admit … at first, it seemed a bit bizarre that he would even buy me a present — but a flannel, night shirt.  

He said, “I hope you don’t mind me giving this to you.  It reminded me of you.”

Quite honestly, it had been so long (so very long) since I had received any kind of gift from a man … my heart was pounding.   But as I looked at that flannel gown, I said to myself, “This fellow kinda “gets” me.”  Truly, I’m not a lacy, frilly, kind of gal.  I’m not even a jewelry kind of gal.  But I am a flannel night shirt kind of gal — and he understood that.  It had no strings attached … just from one friend to another and I’ve never forgotten that gift.  I don’t have the night shirt anymore, and this friend has moved on.  But I’m still impressed that ‘once upon a time’ — it really was the “thought that counted.”

Now frankincense (as it is known to the western world) is a resin called “olibanum”  derived from the Arabic “al-lub” (the milk), a reference to the milky sap that comes from the Boswellia tree.  Frankincense is known for its medicinal and soothing properties, and many herbalists say it has calming, restorative, clarifying and meditative effects. In ancient times, it was used to treat depression and they burned it believing the “incense” carried their prayers to heaven.  As a gift from the Magi, it signifies Jesus role as our Priest … our connection … to God and everlasting life.

My goodness, I read that and can’t help but think of all the people who suffer from depression during the holiday season.  Certainly, we could all use a little “soothing … some calm and some restoration … clarity and prayer.”   Too many people (self- included) embark upon this season with a sense of dread and anxiety.  Too many people (self-included) feel disconnected and dysfunctional.  Frankincense may not be a practical gift, but there is nothing more practical that “connecting” with others.  When the world is saying “hurry here and hurry there” — “catch this sale” or “come here for your last minute shopping,” — remember “FRANKINCENSE” and how valuable some “calm, restorative, and authentic fellowship” would be to those you love and even a friend or co-worker who needs the “sweet essence of community.”

Myrrh is perhaps the most mysterious of the Magi gifts. Myrrh is an Arabic word for bitter, and it is considered a wound healer because of its strong antiseptic and anti-inflammatory properties. The Chinese used it for centuries to treat wounds, bruises and bleeding and to relieve painful swelling. Another use for myrrh is for preservation. It was used as an embalming agent for Egyptian mummies and as a gift from the Magi to Jesus, it signifies that He would “die for our sins.” In fact, myrrh, was one of the oils/spices taken by the women to the tomb to treat Jesus body.

 I don’t know about you and your family, but mine could definitely use a little (or a LOT) myrrh.

“WOUND HEALER!”  

 “STRONG ANTISEPTIC!” 

“ANTI-INFLAMMATORY!”

“PRESERVATIVE!” 

Sounds like an ideal prescription for family dysfunction.  What better gift for your family than to “HEAL” rather than allow those wounds to continue to fester and set up infection for generations to come.

The problem is … going to Walgreen’s and purchasing enough myrrh to “rub down” the whole family is not practical.  But don’t be mistaken, you can buy myrrh … in all kinds of forms … just GOOGLE it.  In my research, I did find one rather “ironic” use for myrrh in present times.  It is used in some “mouthwash.”  Discovering this little tidbit, I thought, “Well … that’s just like God.”

Most family dysfunction is a result of poor or bad communication — THE TONGUE!  Things are said that should not have been said, creating wounds that never get that “much needed antiseptic” of an apology or forgiveness.  How ironic (and GOD-LIKE) indeed that “myrrh” would be used in an antiseptic mouthwash. We need to wash out our mouth  —- rid it of all criticisms, back-biting, hateful exchanges, untruths and insults to injury.  Rather than allowing further inflammation to our hearts and souls, we need some “myrrh ointment” to treat those wounds and allow healing to take place.

Is it that simple?  No, it’s not.  On paper … the logic just flows right out, but we all know that family dynamics and the “peopleness of people” will certainly make “giving like the Magi” a virtual impossibility.  Except —- Jesus, Himself, has another Word for us!

Matthew 19

²⁶ But Jesus looked at them and said to them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

And in Mark 11, He says,
²⁵ “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him,  that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.

So … if we (especially “me”) were to embrace this “giving” in the tradition of the Magi, considering the significance of gold, frankincense and myrrh, truly there would be less “trinkets” under the tree. Furthermore, I suspect there would be no more “Black Friday Madness” or “Last Minute Shopping” either.  As the Magi took an incredible and long journey to deliver their gifts to a family and child they did not know —- and we remember their gifts to Him more than we remember our own gifts to and from our family —- why would we not embark upon the same journey to honor our own families with “gifts” they will surely treasure for generations to come?

Matthew 6

¹⁹ “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; ²⁰ but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹ For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

 Merry Christmas … and Happy Holidays forever!

Utopia: an ideal place or state

Dystopia: a place or state characterized by human misery and dysfunction, 

Traditions (or rituals) are hard to break, whether they are good or bad.   That’s because … they require “commitment”, and commitment requires “belief” and at the foundation of function, (or dysfunction), are knowing what you believe and value … in other words, TRUTH.

From time to time, my son will ask me, “Did I ever believe in Santa?”   And the answer is “probably not” because I never really emphasized much about Santa after he was born.  With my daughters, I did try to do the “Santa” thing, but since they had to split their holiday between my house and their dad’s house and it varied from year to year, traditions or rituals were soon dismissed.   The same went for my own childhood holiday celebrations.  We were always split between one house and another, and we just never were able to embrace anything that lasted.  I tear up now thinking about how chaotic and stressful this was to me then … and that I passed that same “empty-ness” on to my children. It’s not what I wanted, but I was obviously (for whatever reason) powerless to keep from falling in to it.

As I ponder on this today, I’m reminded of the Dickens’ classic,  A Christmas Carol, and how Ebenezer Scrooge was haunted by the Ghost of Christmas Past.   He allowed the dysfunction and disappointments of his past affect his whole life … his present and surely his future if changes were not made.

As I said before, knowing “TRUTH” is the foundation of function.   It does not have to be logical, for logic would completely destroy the wonder, the magic and especially “the miracle” of Christmas.  Likewise, I don’t want to impress that TRUTH should be “relative” for that can be circumstantial and faulty.  In this particular case, I think TRUTH must be a CHOICE, and let me explain what I mean.

Regardless of the circumstances that led to Ebenezer Scrooge’s heartache and indifference, he had let the pain control him.  The truth is that it is not an easy thing to just “let go” of the influence of dysfunction and heartache.  Some of these matters cause deep scars. They certainly create a faulty grid if only because these are experienced through the eyes of a child who has not mastered discernment or how to “not make it about them.”   Much of Ebenezer’s faulty grid was established in his formidable years.  

He had obviously tried to suppress the pain by building the defense of a cold, hard wall around his heart, which only led to further rejection and pain caused by loneliness. It was only when TRUTH was revealed by the three visitors that he began to “face” the TRUTH and experience healing.    Ebenezer did really WANT to feel so lonely and angry.  But because the pain and dysfunction of the past was so overwhelming in his heart and mind, I don’t think he really knew that he had a CHOICE to live another way … that is, until his epiphanic “dream-like” experience.

So in my conversation with my children, I started to suggest hosting a gathering during the holidays in hopes of avoiding some of the stress that is so greatly associated with our “ghosts of Christmases past” (Where to eat, where to go, who to see, what to buy when you can’t afford to buy, etc.).  My daughter, offering “logic” felt that it would only cause more stress, and ultimately disappointment because “our family” simply does not “know how” to “get past the past.”  This is true and regardless of the fun-filled functions or festivities you hope for, it still comes back to “CHOICE.”

So … if given the choice between “dystopia” and while maybe not complete “utopia” but at least something that veers off the course of dysfunction, why would one not try to make a better and more pleasant choice.   That’s where the Ghost of Christmas Present comes in to play.  Once you recognize the “faulty grid” through which you’ve been sifting experiences of the past, you ought to be able to say, “HEY … we’re going to do a little better than that this year.”

Here are some “epiphanic” ideas for you:

• Ask your family members what they got for Christmas last year.  If they can’t immediately recall, then perhaps your stressing over gifts and presents was a waste of time.
• Remember how angry you became when you could not find a parking space at the grocery store or mall, and kept driving and driving and finally found one nearly a half-mile from the entrance.
• Remember standing in line for 45 minutes, waiting for a table at the restaurant, only to be served by a snarky waitress who called you “Hon” while shifting her weight from one foot to the other because she is so tired and aggravated by equally “snarky” customers.
• Remember overspending your budget and convincing yourself that “you’ll worry about that in January.”
• Remember pulling out the Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving in hopes of “getting” into the holiday spirit … and then taking it down Christmas day because “you’re over it.”
• Remember crying through those Hallmark Christmas movies that always turn out good in the end, and cynically thinking, “yeh, real life is not like that.”
• Remember the checklist or calendar entries you made so you would not forget all the school, church, and extra-curricular events you had to attend.
• Remember rushing to the church Christmas communion and then hurrying to the next place because you had to make all the rounds on Christmas Eve or someone would be mad.
• Remember last year when you said, “We’re not going to do this next year. Things are going to be simpler if it kills us.”

CHOICES!  Ebenezer made a profound choice after he visited his past … and realized his present situation.  Here we stand at the threshold of our future holidays (and life).  Are there choices that you can make to ensure these “days ahead” are met with hopefulness rather than dread? 

Personally, I am tired of my heart sinking when this time of year rolls around.  I’m ready (and have been for so long) to dispose of that faulty grid from Christmases past.  In this “Christmas present” I want to embrace what I know to be TRUTH and share that with my friends and family.  I would like to experience a holiday … right now … that will create happy, joyful blessings and memories for all who will partake. And again … PAR-TAKING must surely be a choice for each of us.

Happy Holidays (Happy Holy-Days) and “God bless us, every one.”

There is an old saying, which many credit to Native Americans as advising, “You can’t really understand someone else, unless you live their life or walk in their shoes (so to speak).

 On that same note, the word, “affinity,” has also been lingering on my mind a lot here lately, especially as I’ve been part of a team that has been planning/coordinating our 30^th High School Reunion.  During this past year of planning, coordinating, researching and actually implementing the events, there have been grand moments of epiphany for many of us.  “Affinity” … and “walking that mile” have come to mean a lot more after this experience.

 Besides meaning a “natural liking or attraction to something,” affinity also denotes a relationship by some other aspect than blood or kin.”  Connecting with old friends from high school and elementary school, learning of their journeys that included both successes and failures, and realizing that regardless of how things seemed on the surface, there is no one who really has that much greater advantage over another in this human race.

 OH, we try to have that advantage … but when a moment of tragedy or bad circumstances come our way, it all comes back to the basic human needs and means of survival.  Looking back on those high school years … you have the beauties that you expect will always be timeless, but alas gravity sets in for each of us.  Those with extraordinary athletic prowess eventually attest to swollen knees and ankles, bad shoulders and aching joints.  And, as for the brainiacs that we looked up to as a source of pride to boost our collective intelligence, we find that like the most of us, they also have to call on those with more practical expertise/skill in other areas.

 The point is … though we each take our own path in life, and experience the joys and downfalls in many and diverse ways … there is a “liking” that will always be able to bring us back together, hopefully with a sense of connection and intimacy from a life shared from cradle to grave.  The great thing about affinity is that it does not have to be “your whole life,” — it can be just a portion of your life that offers a source of influence, enjoyment and perspective.

 As we spent a few moments remembering classmates and faculty who have passed away since high school, a profound perspective was gleaned while recalling the funeral of one of these friends.  As part of the memorial service, the song, “In The Living Years” by Mike and the Mechanics was played.  Until that moment in the funeral, I was unfamiliar with the song, but listening to the words that day … I was (once again) forever influenced by the life of the young man and true friend who had passed away.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGDA0Hecw1k

 The one line in the song, “you can listen as well as you hear,” rings true too often in all of our lives.  Sometimes, we truly only give attention to the surface … how people act and react, their appearance and their mannerisms, their quirks and their shortcomings.  What we often fail to recognize is that the very same things that we are struggling with … they are too.  What we know of them on the surface could be a front or a manifestation of what is going on inside.

 While most of us in our graduating class spent at least four of our formidable years together, different groups of us spent more than ten … sometimes twelve years together.  There are not many people in our adult lives (except family) that we spend that much time with.  So certainly, we have an affinity group.  

 We probably had chicken pox, mumps or the flu around the same time.  We cheered, played ball, sang songs, and danced together. We started driving, working and dating around the same time. Chances are … our hearts were broken about the same time … and in our small community, probably by the same people.  But the truly most unique thing is that … it only takes a nano-second, a smile or brief eye contact to “re-connect” and be a part of that “affinity” again — no matter where our “sandals have taken us.”  And at that moment … “we understand each other.”

 Each of us has left a mark or influence on others in the group.  We have the opportunity to make amends for those “marks that left a scar,” and we have the opportunity to use what we’ve learned in the past thirty years to continue to influence in positive, regenerative ways. 

 Maybe back then, we didn’t realize the “common bond” that we shared. After all, we “were” just kids.  But now, WE ARE an affinity group. We are not all related by blood or kin, but we are more than friends … we are the PCHS Class of 1981.

.

He also took my hand and covered it with both of his, illustrating what it meant to be “in Christ” … encompassed, enveloped, embraced in His Loving and Strong Hands … protected and preserved for Him … safe … SAFE!  And, nothing could ever “pluck me from His Hands.”  It was the first time in my life that I had ever experienced “security.”

And yet, I was young, a babe in Christ … in need of nurture, nutrients and all that goes with life’s maturation process. Spiritual growth is so very much like our physical and emotional growth … it takes time.  And somedays now, thirty years later, when I feel like my physical body has completely let me down in this natural cycle, I wish that I had taken better care of myself through that process.  Alas, I feel the same way about my emotional and my spiritual growth.

You know how you can look back on the days of your youth and recall how “invincible” you felt … as if you were going to live forever???  You take risks that mature, more experienced folks seem to scoff at (when actually they are probably recalling their own days of folly and wish they knew then what they know now).  As I have been dealing with various aches and pains associated with poor health decisions, I recognize how much I took for granted those days of greater flexibility, strength and energy.  I wish I had been eating apples instead of donuts, and broccoli instead of bacon, nuts and berries instead of biscuits.

Emotionally … I see how being led by the moment and the “feeling” (as so many do in their youth) can wreak havoc on the heart and mind.   Immature decisions based upon emotions are too often illogical and carefree — passed off as “fun” and “getting the most out of life.”  Emotions can also cause you to succumb to fear, loneliness, desperation and make decisions out of “woe” … and impede what could otherwise be experienced as “the most of life.”  Once again, thirty years later, I see how much I took for granted, the good emotional health and wishing I had done more to nurture and feed that process with healthy ideas and truths.

And while I can feel the ill-effects of poor decision-making regarding these two important aspects of life, it is my spiritual maturity that I feel I have disregarded the most. One thing that I wish I had known and would have believed way back then is that giving priority to this process could/would have provided the foundation for better physical and emotional health as well.  I had them separated … when actually they should have and could have been working together all along.

For many months, my mind has been consumed by some health problems I am experiencing. I have grown very frustrated and even frightened because I cannot seem to get answers or remedy for the pain that I am experiencing.  On top of the pain, I caught a dreadful stomach virus and was sick for a few days. And quite frankly, I am so sick of taking medicine that I feel like my body is literally poisoned.

At a loss … (notice those words … “at a loss”) for what else to do, “I PRAYED to God for relief and answers.

For thirty years I have been a Christian … and praying was what I did when I was at a loss????  Shameful.

Now here’s a more ironic perspective (on what I can only deem as my own arrogance) …

Recently, a “ghost” from the past creeped in. I was reminded of an encounter I had some 15 years ago when I put myself in an “unhealthy” situation supposedly to help someone else.  Early one morning before going to work, I gave a young woman (age 17) a ride from an all-nighter with a very unsavory and dangerous acquaintance.  She was a hot-mess when she got into my car … covered in passion-marks, dissheveled and wreaking of malt liquor.  In the fifteen minute ride from the “flop house” to the railroad tracks where she had be drop her off, I learned about this arrogance and disregard I have toward my own spiritual maturity.

First of all, giving her a ride that day … I thought I was ministering to her.   Poor wretch!  I could not understand why she would partake in such activities. Then she said to me, “You look like a decent person. why would someone like you know _________________(the person with whom she had pulled the all-nighter, and he had called me to come take her home).”  I told her I knew him from my work, but in my heart and mind I thought … “Looks are deceiving.”

After dropping her off, her situation and story stayed with me for days.    I decided to pray  for her and I felt very good about myself for doing it … because truly my heart was broken for her, but I did not recognize my own arrogance in the instance.  But as I think on the circumstances now, I hear God saying, “Was your heart broken for you?”

My heart was broken for me … but my life was plagued by so much of its own indecency, that in my immaturity and my arrogance, I did not feel I deserved prayer.  I prayed for my children … for our financial situation … but as for my own personal emotional and spiritual well-being, I could not pray.  I could not pray for me. 

I so desperately needed and wanted to be in a right relationship with the Lord … I knew that I was saved, but the actions and decisions I had made based upon those immature emotions and the lack of physical and spiritual nutrients caused me to feel more like a starving orphan than a child of the King.  I often recalled the verse from 2 Corinthians 5:17 … holding on to it … almost as a morsel of hope, but feeling too ashamed to ask God for anything more to help my poor soul.

Years passed … and I forgot about this young woman.  My own circumstances came about that helped me experience some incredible spiritual healing and growth.  But maybe … I did not overcome my arrogance.

A short while ago, while “tootling” through Facebook, and coming across that “mutual” acquaintance that she and I “shared” I noticed that the name of her daughter (and allegedly his daughter) on his Facebook friend list. I clicked on the girl’s name, which led me to her wall, and there I saw her mother’s name.  I went to her wall to find that she had also had some life-changing, spiritual healing and growth experiences.  Her wall contained numerous testaments to her faith and acknowledgement of how Jesus had changed her life.  I was moved to tears!!!

I had thought of this young woman over the years … wondering what ever happened to her. I did remember how those 15 minutes with her in my car so greatly affected my heart and life.  I remembered the prayer I prayed for her. And I remembered that more or less, after that encounter —- I went on with my life.  At the time, I was in no condition to follow up on her, with her.  The pit she was in seemed overwhelmingly frightening to me.  I had my own pit I was trying to dig my way out of.

Reading her Facebook wall, I felt such relief.  It was just one more affirmation that “God is on His Throne” in spite of us … in spite of me and my arrogance.  While I might be prone to think I missed some great blessing by not being more actively involved or at least having a good seat to witness her transformation, I also know that more likely, I would have been more of a distraction than help.  Again, just one more affirmation that God does not need me to do His work … HE’S got it!   It is a privilege when He calls me to be a part of His work. AND that is calling I must never take for granted.

All I did that day was give a girl a ride … and pray for her.  Turns out, God has used her to minister to me.  Thank you, God!

If there is peace in the heart, there will be peace in the home.

If there is peace in the home, there will be peace in the community.

If there is peace in the community, there will be peace in the city.

If there is peace in the city, there will be peace in the nation.

If there is peace in the nation, there will be peace in the world.

Let there be peace, and let it begin with me.

Do we know peace? Have we ever? 

Without a doubt, we know drama … we live it and thrive on it, every day of our lives … and yet, most of us would say, I just want peace.  Would we recognize peace if it were presented to us?  Or would we become bored with it and run right out to stir up something “unpeaceful.”

I’m not sure that we could accept peace even if we had it, and I say that for one reason only.  It  has to do with the first line of the quote at the beginning of this post.  “If there is peace in the heart …”

When was the last time (if ever) that you were able to take a deep breath and exhale, then say with absolute certainty, “I have peace in my heart.”   I’m thinking … I’m thinking … thinking. 

Still thinking.

I know I can say, “I want to have peace in my heart, ” but then there’s a “but.”   It’s that “but.”  We all have it.

The definition of “peace” is “freedom from disturbance; quiet, tranquility.”  So to have “peace in the heart” is a heart without disturbance.   Is that even possible?

My heart is “disturbed” by various things.  Compassion for others … injustices and suffering by other people.  How can I have peace in the heart when there is so much injustice and suffering in this world?  I think I would have to turn a blind eye to the plight of man in this world … in order to have an undisturbed heart … peace in my heart.

When I ponder on how “elusive” peace can be, it gives me greater appreciation for the Beatitude that says, “Blessed are the Peacemakers, for they shall inherit the earth.”  From my perspective about what causes “unrest” in my heart, (injustices in the world, hunger and poverty, oppression and abuse of innocent people, and manipulation of the truth), certainly someone who can anddoes confront those issues … even goes to battle against them … deserves to be blessed.

And did you notice the word, “confront.”  In order to be a peacemaker, one cannot be passive.  Peacemakers must be actively involved in the process.  It’s not a calling to “sit on the sidelines” and say or do nothing, when you see there is a battle going on.  Peacemakers are people of action!  Do-ers!  COURAGEOUS! Willing to follow the unbeaten, unpopular, unstable path.

Now there is a vast differenece between an actively involved Peacemaker and a passive-aggressive POT-STIRRER!  One can be a wolf in sheep’s clothing.  And the difference, I suspect, in found in the fruit.  I suspect that what distinguishes a Peacemaker is a heart of prayer, and a deep empathy for the desperation and suffrage for those going through the battle.  A Peacemaker is not self-serving, but desires to and serves others even at the risk of great personal loss.

Blessed ARE the Peacemakers!  And, SHAME on the POT-STIRRERS!

We live in a very large world, but technology and the media have made the world smaller. We are no longer a part of our small communities where we all go to the same church, shop at the same grocery store and attend the same schools or work at the same business.  We live in a global community where our actions, beliefs, philosophies and mores can impact life on the other side of the world.  

Last year, I attended a screening of the documentary film “Little Town of Bethlehem” which was held on the campus of Lee University.  I, along with a small group of students and citizens, was privileged to hear perspectives from three different men regarding the struggles for peace and prosperity in the Holy Land.  The men featured in the film were a Muslim man from Gaza, an Israeli Jew and a Palestinian Christian.  These men each shared their hearts and deep desire for their families, friends and neighbors to live in peace.

As I watched the film, I was reminded of a young man that I met several years ago when I started attending Berea College in Kentucky.  I was in the new student orientation with other students when two young men walked into the room.  I remember thinking, “Oh my … they are from the Middle East. I hope they are not … terrorists.”  I feel quite ashamed for even having such trepidation — forward and critical thinker that I claim to be.

They were quiet and did not mingle with the rest of the group.  One was particularly more reserved than the other.  I observed them both — trying to work out the mixed emotions and thoughts I was having.  I finally decided that I would probably never see them again after this initial orientation … so I seemingly shrugged off my concerns.

However, the next day when class began, both of them were in classes with me.  Yousef, the more reserved of the two, was in my speech communication class. He sat in front of me.  I admit, I was curious — but he was too quiet and a bit withdrawn, so I didn’t really initiate any conversation with him.

Then when assigned to basically do a speech of personal introduction and background, after giving my speech and sharing my perspectives about “knowing people by name” and “looking them in the eye” to understand, share life and develop trusting relationships — I went back to my seat and he was smiling at me, nodding.  He turned around to me and said, “That was very good.”

The next day, instead of sitting in front of me … he moved to the seat beside me.

I knew then, and I know now … that God was “on the wall” and was working a plan.  Perhaps, this very article is a part of His Big Plan.  I don’t have a clue of the end result — but I’m hopeful and grateful to be involved in the process.

You see, Yousef shared his life story too.  I was mesmerized by the tales he told of his life in Gaza.  All I’ve ever known about that area of the world is what I have been taught from pulpits and the media.  Basically —- every other middle eastern country and its inhabitants are out to get the people of Israel. That’s the way it is … the way it has always been … and always will be. Israel = Good … Palestine = Bad.

Yousef shared with me some incredible stories of his family life during the Israeli occupation in the 2002. I had barely even paid attention to the stories in the news … I just knew there was fighting “over there.” Not once had I ever considered that there were so many innocent victims.   They were strangers, and I had nothing in common with them. I didn’t understand them because I had no connection, relationship or need to understand.

Meeting Yousef changed that.  He is a young man who after being held captive with his family for about five years under the oppression of the Israeli commandos, was shot in the back in his own yard. After being treated by Israeli nurses and doctors in Tel Aviv, and encouraged by his father to “forgive” and seek peace, he came to the United States at the age of 16 so go to school and has not returned to Gaza since. (even when his father died last year)

Yousef has attended camps in the US sponsored by an organization called, “Seeds of Peace,” which brings Palestinian and Jewish youth together to “look one another in the eye” and exchange rhetoric and ideas in hopes of being catalyst for change in their country and cultures. 

Meeting Yousef was the first time in my life that I ever stopped to think about how little we know or even want to know about other cultures.  In talking to him, I also began to realize how much our apathy and affluence adversely affect so many other people in the world — that we have no desire to know.

While viewing the film at Lee University, the stories that the three men told were mostly identical to Yousef’s story.  I thought that his story was an exceptional circumstance … but no, it’s the norm.  In the “Little Town of Bethlehem,” people just like you and me: families, children, elderly, workers, homemakers — people of extraordinary faith and people who just try to blend in, and even people who reject religion at all — are doing everything they can to just survive in the midst of constant threat of oppression and fear.

The struggles there in the Holy Land are comparable to the Civil Rights struggles that were experienced in the United States.  People wanting dignity and basic human rights … people wanting to live their lives in peace — even amongst those who don’t follow the same rules, same rituals or same religion. 

Peace is the desired product of their struggles; but POLITICS gets in the way and hinders all hope. Knowing Yousef … and after watching this film, my heart’s notion is confirmed that “it’s not RIGHT to label all Palestinians as terrorists.”  It’s not right to question the validity of one man’s passion when we have not a clue as to what stirs him.   It’s not right to let fear guide your logic.  We are each prone to desperate notions and actions — but desperate people have desperate ways. 

And I wonder … do you truly understand “desperate”???

I was impressed … from the film and from Yousef’s ambition … that people of the Holy Land, out of desperation , are taking a stand and saying, “NO” to the political violence that has oppressed their land for decades.   The Israeli Jew in the film was an Apache fighter pilot and he found the courage to refuse to partake in acts of violence against innocent people of Palestine.  He reiterated that the philosophy of the Israeli army is supposed to be built upon two ideals: 1) human dignity, and 2) purity of arms, meaning that you “don’t kill just to kill.”

This man, along with the Christian Palestinian and the Muslim Palestinian, belong to movements who are working to build relationships with the diverse sects of people who inhabit this Holy Land.  They recognize that their only hope of survival and prosperity is to not allow fear to be the sole motivator of their behavior.  

 When people live in fear, they will accept any mechanism (even violence, unconstitutional laws or practices, and a surrender of basic human rights and freedoms) to deal with that fear. When I realized this from watching the film, my heart and mind turned to my own country and how our societies are devolving out of fear-based motivation.   The political divisiveness of our nation is serving only to undermine the freedoms and democracy that we hold so dear. 

I watch the news … I read the Facebook posts … I see the disdain for diversity … and I am heartsick!

We fear what we do not know and understand. Like the people of Bethlehem, we are defeating ourselves and destroying this great country out of PURE FEAR.  FEAR as a tool of the enemy only serves to debilitate us, paralyze us … hold us in bondage.  Fear leads to anger and hate and blame.

The Palestinians blame the Israelis and the Jews blame the Muslims and the Muslims blame the Christians.  Meanwhile, the Republicans blame the Democrats, the liberals blame the conservatives , the unemployed or underemployed blame the Mexicans, and Tea-baggers blame the government and the Gays/Lesbians blame the right, and the power-mongers blame the left, and finally, the Christians blame the Muslims and President Obama.   And the world goes round and round and round … and nothing, NOTHING ever gets accomplished … especially human dignity, peace and prosperity.

We know that God’s Word says in Matthew 5: 43-48, “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,  that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.  If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?  And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?  Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

AND, 1 John 4:18 says …

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

I know that words are powerful tools. I also know that “in this day and time” people know better! There is too much available knowledge and educational opportunity … and basic common sense perspective out there that should help anyone overcome “ignorance.”  So, I really can’t excuse rude behavior, lack of tolerance or choice of labels as “just our way” at this point in time.

I remember back in the early 1990’s, during my first few days working at the Boys & Girls Club, a little boy (who happened to be white) came up to me to tattle on another little boy (who happened to be black).   He pointed and said, “That black boy took my ball.”

I looked around only to see a gym full of boys who happened to be black playing with basketballs. So I asked him, “Which boy?”

And his reply was, “That black one.” 

I was at a bit of a loss for what to say next, and then another young man (about 15-years old) said to the boy, “Hey Kid, why does he have to be black?”

That seemed like a bizarre question to me — one that I’m certain this 8-year old could not answer.  I questioned the teenager about what he meant or why he was asking him this, to which he replied, “Carole … he’s been playing with this kid all afternoon. He’s got a name!  He’s not just a color.”

Then he turned to the boy and said, “Go find out his name and come back and tell us.”  The boy ran off, and never came back.  A few minutes later, he was back playing with “Josh.”

It’s not just the color of someone’s skin that causes us to dismiss “who” they are and focus solely on “what” we perceive them to be.  For example, “old”, or “fat” or “gay” or “retarded.”   I would say that any one person who finds themselves being “labeled” with one of those words would much rather be called by their name.

Yesterday, my son, JACK, was trying to get the attention (speaking to) one of our new neighbors, when another neighbor called out, “That little colored boy is talking to you!”  Now, I’m sure her intentions were to be “helpful” — but I still find her choice of words unacceptable.  And I immediately go back to my conversation at the Boys & Girls Club and Jonathan Smith’s logic, “Why does he have to be “colored?”

Certainly he’s a boy!   She could have said, “That boy is talking to you.”

He’s not altogether “little” — but I guess I would find, “That little boy, “as being less offensive.

But if it had been me, I would have simply said, “This young man is talking to you.”  Then, I would have asked him his name and introduced myself.  I’m sure this neighbor woman would not appreciate my using any first impression labels I may have about her.  Why, it would be completely unacceptable for me to refer to her as “that ignorant woman down the street.”  

Therefore, I’m going to take the time and make the effort to go down there today and introduce my “middle-aged” ‘fat’ self and my “caramel-colored” son to her.  I fully expect that this will resolve any future issues with labeling … and she will simply refer to us as Carole and Jack.

I know … I KNOW … that some will read this and say, “Carole is too sensitive” and this woman probably didn’t mean any harm.  I just don’t like it that there are so many ways that we can “marginalize” people, and we do it so often that it becomes normal or commonplace, and we excuse it as such.  It is really a subtle (seemingly invisible) form of prejudice or racism (inferential racism).  It rears its ugly head all the time … by many supposedly fine, upstanding, educated, well-meaning, Christian folk who watch enough TV and read enough newspapers and books to KNOW BETTER!

My son … is so much more than a “little colored boy.”  He’s smart. He’s witty. He’s talented.  He’s an excellent reader, a great tree-climber and is more often barefooted than sporting any shoes (even in winter).   He’s strong.  He’s a picky-eater.  He is technologically-savvy (though he spends too much time with his gadgets).  I believe that God has endowed him with the gift of mercy.  He cares so much about people and animals … he’s very tender-hearted.  He’s funny.  He’s artistic.  He likes to play sports.  And he’s proud of his heritage … which we deem as “Affri-lachian” (a savory and colorful mix of Scots-Irish, American Indian and African American descent).  WOW! What a “special” boy he is.

This neighbor doesn’t know it yet, but her vocabulary is about to expand with all kinds of words to describe Jack Hicks … and none of them have anything to do with the color of his skin, but instead more to do with the content of his character.  I hope she appreciates that!

Sometimes things just begin to weigh so heavily on my mind that I must take time to “flesh out” the gist of the burden in order to have clarity of mind and a better understanding in how to process.  The most effective “fleshing” process (for me) usually involves a cycle of activities such as research and study, prayer, free-writing, prayer, mind-mapping and prayer … and then blogging and prayer. It can all be filed under “spiritual therapy.”

Without this “careful” cycle of “spiritual therapy,” things are just left to “flesh” which is obviously not pleasant, not practical and certainly not productive when dealing with a heavy burden.  If the “fleshing out” takes place solely “in the flesh” — well, it will manifest as ill-thinking, improper communication and irreverence for God and others.   So, what’s the bottom-line in all that jargon?  Simply, “pray before you speak.”

In Psalm 139:23, the psalmist writes, “Search me, O God, and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts.” 

Someone … anyone … who can pray this prayer is not only one brave soul, but also evidently one who could be deemed, “a man after God’s own heart.”  Asking to be held “accountable” for our thoughts is not something most of us would do.  Yet … David did.  And because David did this, he had the confidence … the heart … to offer another kind of prayer to God — an “imprecatory” prayer.

The word “imprecate” is a verb that means to “invoke or call down (evil or curses) as upon a person.”  (dictionary.com)  

In another psalm, written by David, such an imprecatory prayer is presented.  While some psalms are soothing or comforting, and others are soul-stirring, leading us to worship and praise, Psalm 109 is a bit more unpleasant and troubling as it offers one of the strongest imprecatory prayers in the Bible. In this psalm, David is asking God (in worship) to destroy his enemies in the most abhorrent ways. He not only seeks the demise of his enemy, but also asks for dire consequences to come upon his family.

“Let his children be fatherless, and his wife a widow. Let his children wander about and beg; and let them seek sustenance far from their ruined homes.” (vv 9-10)

My study of this topic, and the “heaviness” it has created on my mind, has come about because since 2008, I have seen various reference to this passage used as a means of opposition by folks who do not like or care for President Obama. You might have seen it posted on Facebook walls, on bumper stickers or t-shirts, “Pray for President Obama … Psalm 109:8.”  When I first saw this posted by someone whom I regard as a spiritual leader and devoted follower of Jesus Christ, I went to my Bible to read it, and was heart-broken.  The verse referenced in the quote says, “May his days be few; may another take his place of leadership,” to which many claim is just a funny way of expressing their discontent and desire for him to be a “one-term” president.

Why not just say, “I’m hoping that President Obama is not re-elected,” rather than using God’s Word, and more specifically this imprecate prayer to foster your point?

I understand that we all have different opinions and live in a country where freedom of speech is protected.  If not, I suppose I would need to be fearful of many things that I write and say. I would not compromise anyone’s right to free speech.  But I will offer a challenge to employ more critical thinking and accountability in rhetoric so that our dialogue can contribute to the efficacy of freedom of speech, and not simply offer hateful diatribe and spur division among people who work, worship and live together.

If we pray for the destruction of our enemies, we must be as fervent as David to have God search our own hearts … and deal “justly” with us, as we would have Him deal/judge our enemies. Truly, imprecatory prayers can and must only be made by the righteous.  But, the Apostle Paul tells us in Romans 3:10-12, (New International Version (NIV)

            ¹⁰ As it is written:

   “There is no one righteous, not even one;
 ¹¹ there is no one who understands;
   there is no one who seeks God.
¹² All have turned away,
   they have together become worthless;
there is no one who does good,
   not even one.”

David and God had a special relationship. God says that David is a “man after my own heart.” OH … how I wish that He could say that about me.  But I’m so limited by my own selfish heart. We look at David on the outside … we read the stories of David … and we know his limits and shortcomings are no different than our own. And yet, God looked inside David and saw more in spite of the obvious sin and wickedness that would be deemed unacceptable by societal standards (then and now). After all, how would various media outlets spin the story of a national leader who had his girlfriend’s husband killed, after he had impregnated her?  Hmmm?

And here David is … offering a prayer in worship … calling down curses upon his enemies. By our standards, we might conclude that we have as much “right” to pray such a prayer too. But … once again, have we also prayed, (like David), “search my heart … know my heart … test me and know my thoughts?”

In the context of this passage (the whole thing and not just the one verse 8), we gain a lot of information about the nature of sin and wickedness that stands against David and why he seeks revenge (or relief) from God through this prayer. The first and main thing that David brings up to God is the evil of his enemy’s tongue. 

²for people who are wicked and deceitful have opened their mouths against me; they have spoken against me with lying tongues.
³ With words of hatred they surround me; they attack me without cause.

They were attacking his character. CHARACTER-ASSASINS!

In all seriousness, most good-people (Christian or not) … have a “list” or some “unwritten”  “understood” rule of what is acceptable and not acceptable sin or wrong-doing.  There are a plethora of philosophies/teachings, (and what some would erroneously call doctrine) regarding ills such as smoking/drinking/dancing/cursing … or portions of the BIG TEN, lying/stealing/murder/adultery.  But rarely is back-biting or character assassination included in those list of “don’t do’s or else.”  In fact, way too often, these sins are strategically-cloaked in “prayer concerns” or other subtle spiritual-sounding rhetoric that serves to diminish our responsibility in bad-mouthing, disrespecting and gossiping about our fellow man.  AND once again, “there is none righteous … no not one.”

Ironically, in this psalm … this imprecatory prayer, we can learn that this very sin serves as substantiation for the most severe judgment that is being called down by David. Imprecations are prayers for punishment of the wicked … enemies of God.  We also need to note (and know) what is taught in Proverbs 26:2,

“Like a sparrow in its flitting, like a swallow in its flying, so a curse without cause does not alight;” meaning that an imprecatory prayer without basis has no effect. 

Imprecatory prayers are only effective when we see sin as God does, and that when we ask Him to deal with it … we must surely have clean hands and a clean heart … “right before God and men.” 

Since, in this context, the enemies of God (and David) are guilty of “offense of the tongue” … it would behoove us all to “check that” before we use our tongues to offer up such a prayer.  God takes our words seriously … as should we. 

Galatians 6:7 says, “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” 

And while I will not include the commentary from my studies in this text, here is a link to further study Galatians 6:7, and I DO ENCOURAGE visiting this site and reading the commentary at the bottom. (very insightful)

http://bible.cc/galatians/6-7.htm

Unlike his enemies, David was not willing to participate in back-biting/character assassination. Why even when he had the opportunity to capture/possibly kill Saul (1 Samuel 24 — in the cave while Saul was using the bathroom, and David was hiding in the back) and end all his running as a fugitive … he did not. 

Perhaps, what’s most important to glean from this or at least to consider is the “one” behind all the back-biting, accusations and character assassination — SATAN.  Maybe that’s who David was ultimately directing his prayer of imprecation toward.  The human beings (people) who were accusing David were being used … agents of the Enemy … operating from a spirit of Satan.

So … if we as committed, professing, followers of Jesus Christ attempt to offer up such imprecatory prayers against our enemies … The Enemy … we must first sincerely check our hearts and hands … confess/repent of our own sin and offenses (especially offenses of the tongue).  We must know who the “real” enemy is, and in the spirit of Jesus, who spoke of forgiveness and praying for your enemies, regard him/them as someone standing in the need of redemption and grace.

Words spoken, written, posted or displayed on t-shirts/mugs/bumper stickers or billboard signs, or even sung in worship (as is the case of many psalms), are reflective of our doctrine … the beliefs that we profess to the world.  We need to understand that God’s Word is sharper than any two-edged sword, and has meaning … REAL MEANING and REAL IMPLICATIONS in our lives.  Don’t take it or use it lightly … embrace it with your whole heart, and let it serve as a LIGHT for your path.